crash dieting & bribery

Hello darlings!  I made it!  And by made it, I mean through the luggage check and security.  After countless hours spent crash dieting my two 30" suitcases yesterday to shed those last lbs., the decision was made to pay overage charges for the extra weight, because as we should all know by now, crash dieting never works.  For best results you must change your lifestyle, and let's admit it, a lifestyle change would mean that I would no longer be quite so well-dressed and with Milan as my destination, this is simply not an option.  This truth affirmed, I made it to O'Hare International with one bag weighing in just below 50lbs., a second barely topping 70lbs., a carry-on of well over the 17lb. limit, and a large tote bag (hidden from the baggage check employees by my delightful fur coat).  Panic struck when I realized in the baggage line that Alitali airlines do in fact weigh your carry-on and hold you to the 8 kilogram (17lb.) limit posted on their website!  Upon reaching the ticket counter, I began by proudly presenting the single bag of mine that complied with the stingy weight regulations.  Following the 50-pounder, I (and by I, I mean my stronger father) placed the second suitcase on the scale and it tipped in at 70.2lbs.  The nice Alitalia employees decided this was acceptable for a $100 fee (in addition to the surprise $55 for my second piece of checked luggage--for those of you as numerically challenged as yours truly this is $155 total for baggage).  Just when I thought I was doing so well, up goes my beautiful herringbone carry-on onto the scale.  Please note, this is post hiding half of its contents in my Tory Burch tote (still safely stowed under my furry jacket).  The carry-on weight was, as expected, completely unacceptable.  I choose this moment to accidentally tell the airline lady that I am an only child leaving the country for 4 months, much to the anguish of my parents (I'm sorry Andy and Bryna, between her accent and my desperation this story told itself and I cannot be held responsible for negating your existence).  The kind airline employees took pity on me and told me to move a couple kilos to my heavyweight bag and I'd be ok.  So, I moved my belongings and snuck a couple more in for good measure.  Tags on, bags checked, and a window seat reserved, I booked it out of there before my new found friends at Alitatia could change their minds!  Fast forward through my last mediocre meal at McDonald's in America, and I'm saying my goodbyes to my parents.  The first step is awkward iPhone pictures courtesy of my father (thanks Dad), followed by hugs all around.  I make it to the security line and look back at my parents standing by the "ticketed passengers only past this point" rope.  When I glance back again they are gone, but a security guard nearby alerts me of their new location--lurking around near the McDonald's, trying to get as close as possible to check out the new body scanners in action.  Thankfully, despite the parental lurking, I made it speedily through security with my blonde, non-threatening hair color.  So brings me to terminal M10, waiting to board my flight to Italy!  While waiting I am approached by an airline employee (a man watching the weight debacle earlier) who asks me about my destination and tells me about all the fun I will have in Milano, all in a lovely Italian accent.  I see a friend, so I duck out of the conversation quickly, but Mr. Tall, Dark, and Moderately Handsome returns a few minutes later with a slip of paper with his name and instructions to add him on facebook so he can offer me more travel tips.  TIM.  Total Italian Move.  And so it begins, my saga of Milano adventures and escapades through Europe.  I'm excited and I hope you are, too, so please stayed tuned for more TIMs (total italian moves).

xoxo
your bella sam